


Ghosts Called Hope

by larrymylove



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Banter, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Making Out, Mentions of past abuse, Past Abuse, Pining, Post-Break Up, Tickle Fights
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-21
Updated: 2015-12-21
Packaged: 2018-05-08 02:59:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5480780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larrymylove/pseuds/larrymylove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis hasn’t seen Harry since he walked out of his life five years ago. And while Louis has worked hard at moving on and trying to forget, Harry’s always been in the back of his mind and in his heart. Then one day, Louis’ roommate, Liam, announces that his friend Harry will be staying with them for awhile until he gets back on his feet. Now Louis is face to face with a ghost from his past - living in his home, eating his cereal, and...sharing his bed? Maybe it’s not too late for second chances after all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ghosts Called Hope

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little something I wrote this afternoon. Hope you enjoy!

Louis was never one to believe in ghosts. Energies maybe. Like, say in those old, abandoned insane asylums. Of course bad shit went down there, and so bad shit was left behind. You couldn’t go into those sorts of places without feeling some sort of something. But as far as actual, legit ghosts walking around and haunting shit - that wasn’t really Louis’ thing. Until five years ago. Five years ago, he was graduating high school and had plans to head off to uni. Five years ago, he was also leaving behind Harry. Harry who had been his boyfriend ever since they were young. He couldn’t think back to a time when Harry wasn’t in his life. They’d pretty much been attached at the hip when Harry had given Louis an extra one of his birthday cupcakes. But every good thing comes to an end, right? And Louis went off to school, and Harry stayed behind. And that was the same time Louis started believing in ghosts.

Because wherever he went, Harry seemed to follow. Louis would go shopping and come across a jumper that he thought would look so good on Harry’s frame. He would order takeaway and open his fortune cookie first, remembering that Harry would probably scold him for doing so. He’d smell vanilla and be taken back to the scent of Harry’s body wash he always used - it always made him sell like a sugar cookie - and instantly, Louis’ mouth would water. Harry haunted him everywhere he went it seemed. Not that Louis didn’t try to forget. He tried. Fuck, did he try. He dated around. Slagged about with different lads from different bars. But nothing stuck. Nothing haunted him quite like his ghost.

Five years had passed since he’d seen Harry.

And now, five years later, here he was - face to face which his ghost.

Harry sat down his duffel on the living room floor. His eyes bulged from their sockets as he stared right at Louis. Louis felt as though Harry’s gaze was setting his skin on fire. He wanted to look away, but he couldn’t. It had been five years, but Louis would recognize Harry from a mile away. He still had chocolate brown curls, and big green doe eyes. He had tattoos now, so that was something new. And he was taller now, so, so much taller. He could tower over Louis now, and Louis wasn’t so sure he liked that.

“You,” was all Louis could manage to say. Smooth, he thought to himself.

“You two know each other?” Liam asked, shutting the front door behind Harry.

“Uh, yeah,” Louis nodded, still trying to take all this in. When Liam had said his friend Harry would be staying with them for awhile, Louis never thought it would be his Harry. But that wasn’t right. Harry wasn’t Louis’ anymore. Those kind of thoughts needed to be nipped in the bud right now. All Liam had said was that Harry was a friend and that he needed a place to stay until he got back on his feet. Louis never thought in a million years that Harry would be _Harry_ -Harry.

“We um...we went to high school together,” Harry explained, still not looking away from Louis. Their eyes were locked on each other’s. Louis searched Harry’s eyes for something, but was only met with confusion. Apparently Harry was just as perplexed by this as he was.

“Yeah,” Louis nodded, finally breaking their stare and flicking the fringe from his hair, “We went to school together.”

“Oh, well that’s cool then,” Liam shrugged, “You guys can have a proper little reunion then.”

Louis laughed a humorless laugh and was met with a look of utter hurt on Harry’s face. And okay, no. That wasn’t...that wasn’t allowed. Harry was not allowed to be hurt by any of this. If anything, _Louis_ should be the one that was hurt. He was the one who had gotten his heart broken, after all. Harry had no right to look hurt.

“Great,” Louis rolled his eyes, again tugging at his fringe, “So how do you know Harry, Li?”

“Um, we met a couple of years ago. The bakery he worked at did a cake for my sister’s birthday. He came over to deliver it, and we got on pretty well. He needed a place to stay in London and got in touch with me. I told him it’d be more than fine that he stay here. I’m sorry if there’s like...bad blood between you two. But you did tell me it was fine he stay.”

“I didn’t know my Harry would be _this_ Harry!” Louis cried, eyes widening in horror when he realized what he had just said, “Not...not my Harry,” Louis sighed exasperatedly, “Just...you know what I mean. I didn’t know that...that he’d be the person staying with us!”

“I’m sorry,” Harry kicked the toe of his chelsea boot over the carpet, “I can...I can leave. I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable, Louis. Not in your own home.”

“Maybe you should,” Louis folded his arms over his chest.

“Hold up,” Liam held up a hand. He was now standing between Harry and Louis, a look of confusion on his face, “Louis, I told you Harry is in a situation he can’t help. He needs a place to stay. Now, I don’t know what history is between the two of you. But Harry needs a place to stay here in London.”

Louis scoffed, angry and frustrated with the whole situation, “What situation can he possibly be in that he needs to stay with us?”

“My um...my boyfriend kicked me out,” Harry provided, shoving a hand through his shoulder-blade-length curls, “Um...I ex, I guess I should say. My _ex_ -boyfriend kicked me out.”

“Oh,” Louis didn’t really know what to say beyond that.

“Yeah,” Harry played with the ends of his hair, “Um...he broke up with me. And told me I needed to get out by the end of the week. I wanted to um...I wanted to come to the city to get away from him. I didn’t want to see him again. I just needed to get away and clear my head. I didn’t have anywhere to go anyway. So I just...I called up Liam. And he said I could stay here.”

“Nice,” Louis spat out.

“I’m sorry!” Harry plead, “I can leave. I will leave. I can get in touch with someone. I can always go home to my parents. I know I can. I just...I don’t want to burden them. When Liam said I could crash here as long as I needed, I jumped at the chance. I knew he had a roommate. I just didn’t know it’d be you. But I can leave, Louis. Clearly, you aren’t comfortable with me here…”

“Why don’t you want to see him again?” Louis asked suddenly. He’d been playing what Harry had said over in his head. “I mean, sure breakups suck. But...if you felt the need to leave Holmes Chapel and come to the city...it must have been pretty bad.”

He didn’t know why he cared. He shouldn’t care. But he did.

“He um...he wasn’t a good person,” Harry stared intently at the carpeting, not meeting Louis’ or Liam’s gaze, “And I just...seeing him again would be too much.”

“What about the bakery?”

“It went under. A few months ago.”

“And you aren’t working now?”

“I’ll look for work here in the city. I’ll pay rent. I’ll help out with the costs. Evan - that was his name - didn’t want me working. So when the bakery went under, he insisted I just stay home. So I did.”

Louis frowned. Why wouldn’t Harry’s boyfriend want him working? Why would he discourage that? It didn’t add up. None of this was adding up.

“Just…” Louis held up a hand, “...back up and explain.”

“I’ve been with Evan for a few years now. We were living together in Holmes Chapel. The bakery went under. And Evan decided my time would be better spent at home doing the housework rather than working. All I had was him. I didn’t have an outside life. And one night he came home from the pub and said he was tired of me. And that I had a week to pack my things and get out. To get out of a home I’d made for us. Staying in Holmes Chapel would have been too hard. I wanted to get out and start somewhere fresh. That’s why I got in contact with Liam. He’s the only person I knew in London. Besides...well…”

“...me,” Louis finished.

“You.”

“Right.”

“Well,” Liam cleared his throat, rubbing his hands together, “Louis, Harry clearly needs a place to stay. It’s clear there’s some bad blood here between you. But from me to you, I think he should stay with us. He’s safe here and can get back on his feet. He can find work. You two don’t have to be friends, but you can be civil to each other. I know you can be.”

Louis sighed. What did Liam mean by safe? Was Harry not safe? He frowned. He didn’t like the idea of Harry not being safe. Liam knew something Louis didn’t, and that frustrated him. But Liam had a point. Louis knew there was no way he could kick Harry out. It’d already been decided he’d stay here. Louis couldn’t go back on that now, no matter how hurt and angry he was still.

“Fine,” Louis rolled his eyes, “You can stay.”

“Really?” Harry asked in that breathless, surreal tone he got sometimes.

“Yeah,” Louis shrugged, “I mean, Li already said you could. I’d be a dick if I threw you out on the street.”

Harry giggled a soft little thing of a giggle and Louis really, really didn’t want to smile at that. But he just couldn’t help himself.

“Just...stay out of my way,” he said, frowning again and moving towards his bedroom.

Louis boarded himself up in his room for the rest of the afternoon. Seeing Harry face to face was like reliving that day five years ago all over again and Louis just couldn’t do that right now. Harry could stay, but Louis wasn’t going to allow himself to relive that day. Nope. He was going to stay in his room for as long as possible. Maybe his boss, Simon, would allow him to work on his articles from home. Liam could shove a plate of food under the door a couple times a day. It’d all be fine.

Louis was on his fifth episode of Breaking Bad when there was a knock on his bedroom door. Louis tugged out one of his earbuds and set his laptop to the side, after pausing his episode.

“What?” He called.

“It’s me,” Liam answered.

“Fine,” Louis sat up against the headboard, fluffing a pillow behind him as Liam came in and shut the door behind him.

“We need to talk,” Liam began.

“Do we?”

“We do. Louis, c’mon. We’ve been friends since our third year of uni. You know you can talk to me.”

“There’s nothing to say.”

“I think there is. Please,” Liam sat down on the edge of Louis’ bed, “Just tell me where your head is right now, Tommo.”

Louis frowned, picking at a stray thread on his duvet, “Alright. Harry and I used to date. We were uh...childhood friends, I guess? We met when we were six and eight. He gave me an extra cupcake on his birthday and we just clicked. And we were best friends since. And then when he was thirteen and I was fifteen, we shared our first kiss. And it was like...this electric bolt. Everything just made sense. We never had ‘the talk.’ But he became my boyfriend and I became his. And we just...belonged to each other.”

“So what happened then?” Liam asked, “You’ve never mentioned him.”

“Because I try to forget,” Louis admitted, “I try so, so hard to forget. I was going off to uni, Li. And he was still in school. I wanted to go away for school. He wanted me to stay. That two year gap...it suddenly felt like a lot. I didn’t want to stay behind. He didn’t want me to go. He told me a long distance relationship would be too hard, and so he broke up with me. He broke up with me literally the night before I was set to leave. And that crushed me. He just did it...and I...I let him. But he didn’t let me stop him. I tried to talk to him, tried to...I tried, Li. And he just said he couldn’t and he turned and left.”

“Jesus.”

“Yeah. And so I figured fine. I figured I would go off and enjoy myself at uni. And I tried. You know I did. I’ve not been exactly celibate. But...he’s always been on the back of my mind. When I left, I blocked his number and I never tried to contact him. I couldn’t. He’d hurt me too much when he left. I never thought...I never thought I’d see him again. Until now. Here he is and it just...it really fucking hurts. Because I wasn’t supposed to...we weren’t...the book was fucking shut on us, Li. And him being here is like peeling back scabs you thought were healed. They aren’t, and fucking with them makes them bleed and hurt like a bitch.”

“I’m sorry, bub,” Liam placed a hand on Louis’ knee, “I didn’t know. I really didn’t. Harry...Harry has been through a lot these last few years. Like I said, I met him a few years ago when he catered that party. He was a sweet kid but there was something...I gave him my number and told him if he needed anything at all to call. He never called. Until last week. He told me what he’s gone through - what he’s going through. I couldn’t say no, Lou. I couldn’t. I’m not going to tell you what he went through, because that’s his own business. But...it’s been hard, Lou. He needs a place to restart. He needs to find a job and get on his feet. He can do that here. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable though. But I do think it might be easier if you tried to...I dunno...be friendly.”

“I would rather be angry.”

“I know,” Liam patted at Louis’ knee, “But angry is exhausting. You know what isn’t exhausting?”

“Hmm?”

“Coming out to the living room and watching a movie with Harry and me. We’re gonna order pizza. And I was even going to order those mozzarella sticks you love.”

Louis pouted, thinking over his options. Pizza and mozzarella sticks did sound good. “You’re trying to bribe me.”

“Is it working?”

“Maybe,” Louis let himself smile just a little. Liam always did have that effect on him. It was why Liam was his best friend in the whole entire world.

“C’mon then,” Liam stood from the bed and offered his hand out to Louis. Louis sighed, rolled his eyes, and took it.

Liam did have a point. If Harry was going to stay, Louis may as well deal with it. He wasn’t going to be besties with Harry, or even try to be friends. He couldn’t. But he could at least be civil and enjoy some pizza, right? When they came out to the living room, Louis saw that Harry was curled up on one side of the couch. In spite of how tall he was now, he could fold himself up into a little ball. Louis didn’t want to find it endearing. He was reading a book that was resting on the arm of the couch, but glanced up when Liam and Louis came in.

“What do you have there?” Liam asked.

Harry dog-eared his page and held up his book for them to see, “Oscar Wilde’s short stories.”

“Always did have a thing for fairytales, didn’t you?” Louis said before he could stop himself. A small smile tugged at Harry’s lips as he sat the book on the coffee table in front of the couch. There was a soft pinkness to Harry’s cheeks that wasn’t there a second ago. Louis had almost forgotten how easy it was to make the boy blush. Louis ran a hand through his hair, trying to compose himself as he sunk down on the couch. He chose the middle cushion, next to Harry, because clearly he was a masochist.

Liam headed towards the kitchen to call in the pizza order. Harry tucked up one leg, resting his hands on his knee and his chin on his hands. An awkward silence fell over them. Louis could practically taste the sour tension in the air. He wanted to say something, anything really. So he decided on, “You’re gonna be okay, Haz.” Because that seemed like the safe thing to say.

Harry perked a little at the sound of the familiar nickname. He turned his head, keeping his chin and hands on his knee, and looked to Louis. A small smile tugged the corner of his lip, and his dimple was threatening to show. So of course, Louis did the only thing he could do. He poked where he knew it was hiding. Harry smiled bigger, dimple popping now. Louis smiled back and pulled his finger away. All the pain was still there in his chest, but fuck. Harry was right here in front of him. Louis had thought - had been so sure - he would never see him again. He thought he’d never see that smile, that dimple, again. So fuck it, he was going to enjoy it a bit. Even if it hurt to do so.

And just because Louis was sort of addicted to making Harry blush, he said, “Cute.”

Harry turned a pretty shade of pink. And Louis smirked, a little bit of pride surging through him, before he turned away from Harry and grabbed for the remote. He clicked on the TV and scrolled through, finding the movie channels. He could feel Harry’s gaze still on him. He wasn’t turning away. Louis scrolled through the list of movies before finding a showing of Iron Man that would start in about ten minutes. That would distract him from the pretty boy sitting next to him. Right?

Liam returned, sinking down on the other side of Louis, “Pizza will be here in twenty,” he said.

“Iron Man good for tonight?” Louis asked.

“Louis has sort of a massive crush on Robert Downey Junior,” Harry giggled next to him. Louis let out an indignant gasp. Because, how very dare Harry bring that up. For starters, Liam would never let him live it down. And secondly, how dare Harry bring up something that had been sort of an inside joke between the two of them for years. Louis wanted to snap at him. But instead, he found himself turning to Harry and saying --

“Oh yeah? Well, you have a massive crush on David Hasselhoff!”

Harry gasped and Liam laughed. “1980s David Hasselhoff!” Harry insisted, “ _1980s!_ ”

“Uh-huh, sure,” Louis smirked, “Whatever you say, Hazza.”

And this really shouldn’t be so easy. It shouldn’t be so easy to just fall into step like this. This was how they had been for years though - the flirting, the banter, the teasing. It was sort of their thing. It had always been their thing. So maybe it made sense that this was the default for them. Louis tried not to think about how this was a bad, bad idea. He didn’t want to think about how this was huge mistake. How he needed to put a stop to this right fucking now. Because eventually Harry was going to leave again. This was temporary. And if Louis let himself get attached, he would only get heartbroken again. And his heart still wasn’t healed yet from the first time.

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t pull away or freeze Harry out. Like he said, this was the default. And Liam had been right. Anger was exhausting. This was easy. This felt right. Louis just needed to keep reminding himself, in the back of his head, that this was all going to come to an end. He needed to prepare himself for Harry to go away again.

“Okay you two,” Liam grabbed the remote from Louis and turned up the volume as the movie started. And ‘you two’ made them sound an awful lot like a pair. Louis tugged at his fringe. Harry’s going to go away, he told himself. Harry is going to go away and leave again. Don’t get too close. Don’t let yourself think differently. He’s going to leave you like he did. Like he always does.

A finger to his ribs yanked Louis from his thoughts. He squirmed away from Harry’s hand as Harry grinned cheekily and said, “There’s your boyfriend,” he pointed to the television screen. Louis wanted to say something cheeky back. But he needed to guard himself. He’d already slipped up several times already. So instead of something light and playful, Louis just said -

“Yeah, and he doesn’t walk out of my life. Good boyfriend, that.”

Harry’s jaw hung slack and Louis merely shrugged and turned and turned his attention back to the movie. Liam nudged him sharply in the side with his elbow. And okay, he deserved it. It was a dick thing to say. And from the side of his eye, Louis could see Harry’s face crumble. Okay. So it’d been a massive dick thing to say. But he needed to not let himself get close. He wanted to flirt with Harry and tease him and make him blush. But doing those things meant letting all those feelings back in. And Louis didn’t want to feel anything towards Harry. He couldn’t let himself.

They continued to watch the movie in awkward silence until the doorbell rang. Liam practically ran to answer it. Louis paused the movie and stood up to go help Liam. He felt bad for being a bit of an ass towards Harry. But really, he needed to be. It was the only way.

Louis got down the plates from the cabinet and took down three cups as well. He glanced up to see Harry meandering over towards the kitchen in that slow pace of his. He looked unsure. Like he wasn’t welcome there. And Louis rolled his eyes and waved his hand towards the fridge, “Be useful and get out the soda.”

There. That gave Harry a job to do and made him feel like it was okay for him to be in the kitchen. Louis wasn’t such an asshole, right? Harry nodded and opened the fridge. He pulled out a liter of Dr. Pepper and poured it into the glasses. Liam came in and set the pizza on the counter.

“Okay,” he said, cracking it open, “One large half pepperoni, half veggie.”

Louis rolled his eyes because of fucking course Harry would order a veggie pizza. He always did have a thing for vegetables. He always got mistaken for being a vegetarian in high school. He did eat meat, just not often. Louis had witnessed Harry scarf down McDonald’s cheeseburgers like nobody’s business. It just was rare.

“Your veggies better not have touched my side of the pizza,” Louis said, hip-checking Harry before he could stop himself. It was his default to flirt with Harry, his default to tease him. Not flirting and not teasing Harry was hard work. He needed to stop himself. He needed to get it under control.

Harry blushed again and Louis felt insides turn to pudding. Honestly, fuck Harry. Fuck Harry for breaking his heart and coming back into his life. And fuck Harry for still being that sweet, blushing boy Louis always knew. And fuck Harry for making Louis feel all these feelings again - all these feelings he’d thought he’d boxed up and shoved in some dark place in the furthest corner of his mind.

They nibbled on their pizza and watched the movie in silence. Afterwards, they cleaned up their dishes and Liam went to the hall closet to fetch some extra blankets and a sheet for Harry. When he returned, he asked Louis to move the coffee table to the side so that he could pull out the futon. Louis scooted the coffee table across the rug, frowning at the futon. Harry had a bad back. As a kid, he’d been a paper boy. The heavy sack of newspaper and being crunched over his bike had pretty much wrecked his back. Louis was always working out the knots and kinks in it. The futon would destroy him. Louis rested his teeth on his bottom lip, trying to talk himself out of what he was about to do.

“Shit,” Louis sighed, running his hand through his hair, “Li, he can’t sleep on that thing.”

“What do you mean?” Liam asked.

“It’s fine, Louis,” Harry said, eyes almost pleading. He was standing against the living room wall, “I don’t want...I don’t want to be a bother. I’m already staying here with you. The futon is fine. Really.”

“It’s not,” Louis was persistent. He didn’t really know why, but he couldn’t bear the thought of Harry having to sleep on that futon. He’d slept on it several times, when hookups ended up being snorers. It was miserable. There was no way he was letting Harry sleep on that thing. Over his dead body.

“Louis…”

“Harry, shut up!” Louis snapped, harsher than he’d intended. Harry jolted. Like, actually jolted. And Louis hated that. He’d scared him. Louis had scared him. Louis didn’t know what had happened to Harry in the last few years, but he knew whatever it was, it wasn’t good. Quickly, Louis was at Harry’s side.

“Hey,” Louis said softly, placing a gentle hand in the middle of Harry’s back, “Hey. Harry, what’s up?”

“N-nothing,” Harry shook his head, “I just...you yelling. I don’t like yelling.”

“Alright,” Louis nodded, not really wanting to just accept that, but knowing he had no real right to press, “Well, I won’t yell again. Promise.”

“Am I putting this thing together or not?” Liam asked.

Louis scrubbed his hands over his face before answering, “Nah. Haz is bunking with me.”

“Louis, are you sure?” Harry asked, scanning over Louis’ face.

“I’m sure,” Louis lied, “Besides, we’ve shared a bed many times. You just stay on your side and no funny business, alright?”

“Promise,” Harry vowed.

Louis didn’t know why, but he went to grab Harry’s duffle for him. They said goodnight to Liam and headed to Louis’ room. Louis toed open his door and dropped Harry’s bag on the floor by the dresser.

“Look,” Louis said, “I am not happy about you being here. But you have nowhere else to go, and I am not letting you destroy your back on that futon. You sleep on your side of the bed. Don’t think about touching me. And if you expect cuddles, you’ve got another thing coming.”

Louis grabbed a fresh t-shirt from his dresser. He turned around, facing the wall, and yanked his old t-shirt over his head. As he was pulling on the new shirt, he heard sniffles behind him. Louis pressed his fingers into his eyes, rubbing. He took a deep breath and turned back around, met with the sight of Harry wiping at a tear with his index knuckle. And Louis’ heart shattered. He couldn’t stand when anyone cried, really. But when Harry cried, it was as if the whole wide world was coming to an end. Louis was at Harry in a flash, reaching up and wiping his tears from his cheeks. He was already in too deep by this point anyway. There was no use in trying to keep Harry at arm’s length. He couldn’t do it. He wasn’t strong enough. If Harry broke his heart again, so be it. Louis couldn’t be responsible for breaking his.

“Hey, hey. Haz. What’s wrong, love?” Louis asked gently, still wiping at the tears.

“I...I wish I didn’t have to be here,” Harry cried, “I am being an intrusion to you, and your friend. I just...I don’t have anywhere to go, Louis. I lost my home. I worked so, so hard to make that place a home. I really did. And it’s all gone.”

“Hey,” Louis pulled Harry over to the bed. They sat down together on the edge of the mattress, “Talk to me, love. What’s really going on here?”

Harry took a sharp breath and Louis could feel him shake beneath Louis’ hand on his back, “Evan...Evan was...not who I thought he was. He could become so...cruel sometimes. He wanted me to be like, his personal slave. He wanted me to cook and clean up after him. He wanted me to be at his every beck and call. When the bakery closed down, he told me that as long as I stayed with him, I wouldn’t work. He told me he’d take care of the finances if I took care of him. And I tried, Louis. I did. I loved him, I think. He wasn’t always so bad. He’d hold me and cuddle me and I convinced myself that he wouldn’t be so sweet to me if he was a bad person. But when he was mean, he was really mean. And I’m stupid, I know. Because I stayed. Because he’d only ever hit me every once in awhile. But he was still hitting me. No matter that he cuddled me every night, he still hit me sometimes. And then he came home from drinking one night, and told me I had to leave.”

“Harry…” Louis shook his head, not wanting to believe what he was hearing, “For starters, you aren’t stupid, okay? You aren’t. And you deserve any of that. He was an arse to you. And you deserve so, so much more. You’re here to have a fresh start, right? Away from him? I know I said I don’t want you here, but Harry...I am glad you’re here. I’m glad you’re safe. And you’re going to be safe, alright? You’re here with me and with Liam, and we won’t let anyone hurt you again, alright?”

“I just feel so silly,” Harry cried, “I mean, I’m in my twenties and I have no job, no home. I have nothing.”

Louis took a sharp breath before lifting Harry’s chin with his fingers, “Stop that, Haz. You have me. And you have Liam. And you’ve got this roof over your head for as long as you need it. And you’ve got this bed to sleep in for as long as you need it. You’re going to keep a job, and you’re going to be fine. Okay? You’re going to be fine.”

Louis’ heart was breaking. He swore all day he wasn’t going to let Harry break his heart again. Well, here it was. Breaking. So Louis said, ‘fuck it’ and wrapped his arms around Harry, pulling him against his chest and gently running his fingers through Harry’s curls. Harry could leave again one day. Harry could break his heart all over again. But nothing would hurt as badly as knowing someone had hurt Harry. Someone had hit him and had yelled at him and had made him feel and know pain of all kinds. And Louis wanted to undo all that hurt, all that pain. So fuck it. If he got hurt in the process, so be it.

“Thank you, Louis,” Harry said softly into Louis’ chest. His crying had stopped, and he was now nuzzling his face into Louis’ t-shirt.

“Alright baby, alright,” Louis soothed, still running his fingers through Harry’s curls, “Why don’t you get some pajamas on and crawl into bed. And I’ll break my rule and I’ll give you a bit of cuddles, alright?”

Harry nodded and pulled away. He went over to his bag and pulled out a t-shirt and some joggers. Louis pointed to the closet, “You can change in there, or the bathroom is just right down the hall.”

Harry changed in the walk-in closet and climbed into bed next to Louis. Louis couldn’t help but note that they were on their own sides of the bed. Louis had always slept on the left, and Harry on the right - at least when they were able to share a bed in their younger days. Usually on occasions when Louis’ parents were out of town. Then, he’d sneak Harry over. But tonight, they didn’t have to worry about parents catching them. Louis wrapped his arms around Harry’s middle, hugging him against his chest.

“You deserve cuddles, Haz,” Louis said softly, running a hand down Harry’s back - using his nails gently on Harry’s spine, making the boy shiver, “Lots and lots of sweet cuddles. That’s what you deserve. You don’t deserve being hit. Or yelled at. Only softness and sweetness.”

Harry hummed, squirming slightly when Louis’ nails wandered a bit too close to his side. Louis smirked, but dragged his nails back to Harry’s spine.

“Never thought I’d see you again,” Harry sighed.

“I never thought I’d see you again either,” Louis replied.

“I’m glad I found you again.”

Louis didn’t say anything. He didn’t know what to say really. He just nodded, even though Harry’s back was to him, and kept gently running his nails over Harry’s back. It felt so nice, he had to admit. He enjoyed Harry being in his arms again. He thought he’d never hold Harry again. And there were so, so many nights Louis fell asleep to thoughts of having Harry in his arms once again.

“You broke up with me,” Louis said softly.

“I know,” Harry replied.

“It broke my heart.”

“I know,” Harry said again, his voice even softer this time.

They were quiet for awhile - nothing but the sound of Louis’ nails on the fabric of Harry’s t-shirt. After about ten minutes, Louis stilled his hand and wrapped his arm back around Harry’s stomach.

“Get some sleep, baby,” he said.

Harry was already softly snoring.

Louis awoke the next morning to a sight he never thought he’d ever see again - two bright, big, green eyes staring right at him. Louis blinked, trying to gather his bearings. Harry was in his bed. Yesterday had been real. Harry was back in his life and was sharing his bed. Alright then. Louis rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

“Jesus, do you always stare at people when they sleep, Harold?”

“Just you,” Harry said bluntly, “You’re pretty when you sleep. Your lashes kiss your cheeks.”

Louis closed his eyes so he wouldn’t hurt Harry’s feelings by rolling them openly. Who even talked like that? Oh yeah, Harry Styles - that’s who. Louis sighed and dug his palms against his eyes.

“Creep,” Louis said, with no harshness at all to it. Harry giggled and Louis fell in love.

The next few weeks went like this: Harry found a job at a cafe not far from the flat. Louis found himself stopping by for coffee and a pastry before work every morning, getting his coffee for free more often than not. Harry began smiling more and more. There was a brightness to his eyes that wasn’t there when he’d first moved in. He was getting along well with Liam. And to Louis’ dismay, the two of them often ganged up to tease him relentlessly over little things. He’d call them both pains in the ass - tweaking Liam’s nipple and giving Harry a sharp little swat on the arse, making the boy squeal and hop. It was really a hell of a lot cuter than it should be, and only encouraged Louis to do it more and more often. He and Harry continued to share a bed and cuddle together at night. It never went beyond cuddles though, and Louis was quite okay with that. They never talked about what happened five years ago either, and Louis was also quite okay with that too. But there was still this fog that seemed to hang overhead. And Louis still coudn’t shake the dread in his stomach at the thought of losing Harry a second time.

It was a Thursday night when Louis picked Harry up from the cafe. They had a habit of driving together - Louis taking him on his way to the office, and picking him up on his way home. Harry climbed into the passenger seat of Louis’ car and cheerfully said, “I’ve been saving up what hasn’t gone to rent and groceries, Lou. I can get my own place soon!”

Louis’ heart dropped to his stomach like a brick. Harry sounded so excited, and Louis really didn’t want to damper that. Harry was taking care of himself and getting on his feet and Louis was proud and excited for him, he really was. But at the same time, the thought of losing Harry all over again was killing him inside.

“That’s great, Haz!” Louis managed to say.

“Yeah. I can’t wait to start looking for places,” Harry warmed his hands in front of the air vents, “It’ll be so much fun!”

After a beat of silence, and Louis’ tightening his hands on the wheel, Harry said, “There’s just one little bit of a problem though.”

“What’s up?” Louis asked.

“Well, a few years ago...I let someone really special to me walk out of my life. Actually, I shoved him out of my life because I was scared and freaked and young and stupid. But I don’t want to make that mistake again. I don’t want to lose you again, Lou,” Harry twisted in his seat, turning to face Louis, “I won’t lose you again.”

“Harry…”

“I was sixteen when you were going off to uni. Sixteen, Lou. And I was being selfish I know that now. I didn’t want to lose you, so I thought I’d rip it off like band-aid and just get it over with. I figured you’d go off to uni and meet all these new, exciting friends and forget all about your silly little high school boyfriend. So I broke up with you because I was scared. I was scared of losing you, so I thought if I did so under my own control, it would be easier for me. But it wasn’t, Lou. It really wasn’t.”

Louis’ head spun. He couldn’t process what Harry was telling him. He yanked the car over towards a grocery store parking lot. He put the car in park and turned to face Harry, scanning his face - trying to read his emotions.

“What are you saying, H?”

“I’m saying...I fucked up when I was a kid. I lost the best thing that’s ever been mine. And I hurt you. I know I hurt you. I was scared and dumb. But I’m not dumb anymore, Louis. And the only thing I’m scared of is losing you again.”

“You didn’t even let me say anything,” Louis shook his head, “When you ended with me. You wouldn’t let me speak. You just broke up with me and then left. I didn’t...there was so much I wanted to say to you that you wouldn’t let me. And so I just...I let it be. It was what it was. And I just tried to get you out of my head and move on. But you’ve always been in my head, H. You’ve always been haunting me wherever I’ve gone. I don’t want to lose you again. I never wanted to lose you.”

“If we had just talked that night…” Harry trailed off.

“Fuck,” Louis ran a hand through his hair.

“I’m talking now,” Harry said, “And what I’m saying is...I don’t want to lose you again. Is five years too late for second chances?”

“Fuck,” Louis sighed, rubbing his hands over his face, “Shit, Haz. I...I don’t want to lose you again either. When you said you’re gonna look for places soon...I felt sad. I felt sad because I’ve enjoyed you staying with Liam and me. I’ve liked you being there. Even if you do hog the blankets and eat all my cereal and snore in your sleep. I’ve missed you being in my life so much. Now that you’re back, the thought of you walking out again has been killing me, Harry. It’s been fucking killing me.”

“I’m not gonna walk out again,” Harry vowed, “I swear to God, Louis. I’m not going to walk out of your life again. I was wondering if...Jesus! I was going to ask...if you maybe wanted to help me find a place? And maybe...move in with me?”

Louis blinked, trying to process what Harry had just said. “Um...what?”

“I’m asking you to move in with me, Louis. Get a place with me, please.”

“I-I don’t know what to say…”

“C’mon,” Harry urged, “We work together, Lou. You know we do. We work so damn well together. And being here with you again, it’s reminded me of that. We are good together, Louis. And I can’t imagine not stealing your blankets and eating your cereal. And keeping you up at night with my snoring even though I swear to God I don’t actually do that.”

Louis snorted and Harry continued, “Besides, Liam could have Zayn over whenever he wanted without worrying about us. And it’d be perfect, Lou. Exactly what it should have been from the beginning, just...five years late.”

“That night,” Louis began, “before I left, I was going to give you something. I was going to give you a necklace. It was a little silver paper airplane and it was going to remind you that we could get through the distance together. I never got the chance. I wanted us to work, Harry. I believed in us.”

“Shit,” Harry’s eyes pooled with tears, “Shit, Louis. I am so...I’m so fucking sorry.”

“Hey, no. Listen. I’m saying that I’ve always wanted this with you. I’ve always wanted to work with you. Because we do work, Harry. We are good together. Always have been, huh? I guess what I’m saying is…” Louis took a deep breath, “...better five years late than never.”

Harry laughed a watery, tear-filled laugh, “I’m so sorry I hurt you, Louis.”

“I’m so sorry for everything, Haz. I’m sorry it took us five years to figure our shit out.”

“I’m still so, so in love with you, Lou. Do you know how hard it’s been for me these last few weeks, having you so close and still feeling so far from you. All I’ve wanted to do was kiss you. It’s been driving me wild not having been able to kiss you.”

“Well then, what are you waiting for.”

Harry pushed his hair back with his hand, a cocky little smile toying on his lips. Louis had seen that little smirk so many times. He knew what it meant. It meant ‘you’re in for it.’ Harry popped his gum and straightened a tad before grabbing the lapel of Louis’ jacket and yanking him against him. Harry kissed like it was an act of love-making. He always had. And his kisses always left Louis feeling boneless. He was all a mix of harsh bites and clashing teeth and soft tenderness and gentle kitten-licks. When they broke apart, Louis saw fireworks in the back of his eyes.

“Missed your kisses,” Louis said, trying to catch his breath.

“Missed _you._ ”

“Missed you more,” Louis countered.

“Put this car in drive and get us home,” Harry commanded, “I can count on both hands the number of things I want to do to you, and none of them would be at all comfortable in the backseat.”

Louis’ eyes popped and he jerked the car into drive and sped out of the parking lot, Harry giggling in the seat next to him.

When they pulled into the carport of the flat, Louis killed the engine and undid his seatbelt. He turned and glanced over to Harry. He reached over and cupped Harry’s cheek with his palm.

“Is this real, Haz? Are...are we really doing this?”

“I hope so. I want to. I want you so badly, Lou. I want to be yours again always and forever. If you’ll have me.”

“I want you,” Louis answered, breath hitching, “Always and forever. I want to be yours again, H. I want us back more than anything. Not a day has gone by that I haven’t...that I haven’t regretted not going after you that night.”

“I wish I never, ever ended it with you, Louis.”

“You were so young, H. It’s fine. I mean, you hurt me and all. But I forgive you for it. Because I see where you were coming from that night. You were scared. I just wish you’d talked to me about your fears. Because I was scared too, Haz. We could have gotten through it together.”

“I am so sorry.”

“Hey,” Louis nudged Harry’s knee with his fist, “c’mon. We’ve got five years of making up to do, baby.”

That night, Louis untangled himself from Harry’s body. Harry whined and Louis chuckled, standing up from the bed and walking over to his dresser.

“Nooo!” Harry made grabby hands to Louis.

“Hush you,” Louis scolded gently, “I’ll be right back over to give you more cuddles. But first, there’s something I have to get you. Been holding on to this for a long time now. But like we said, better late than never, right?” Louis opened up a dresser drawer and sorted through his pairs of underwear until he found what he was looking for - a small velvet box. He held it out to Harry and said, “Wanted to give this to you a long time ago, baby.”

Harry gently cracked open the box, his face lighting up like a bulb when he saw the silver airplane, “Louis...you kept it!”

“Of course I did. It belonged to you. I bought it for you, H. I told myself over, and over again how stupid it was, but I always thought in the back of my head, that I would one day be able to give it to you. Now then, you gonna let me put it on you.”

Harry blushed and handed the box to Louis. Louis took the little necklace from the box and undid the clasp. Harry sat up on the bed, kneeling up, and Louis crouched up behind him, slipping the necklace around his neck. He fastened the clasp and Harry’s hand touched the little plane.

“Let me see you, baby,” Louis prompted.

Harry turned and faced Louis, “How does it look?”

The plane dangled on Harry’s bare chest, in between his two sparrow tattoos on his collarbones. Louis was breathless at how pretty his boy looked. “It’s beautiful, H,” Louis said truthfully, “Absolutely beautiful.”

“I’m so sorry, Louis,” Harry said, and Louis reached up to touch the tear that had fallen from Harry’s eye.

“Shh baby,” Louis soothed, “It’s okay. The past is the past. We were both so young then. Let’s not think back on that night anymore, love. Let’s focus on what we have here and now. I’m here right now, and so are you. And this is real. I love you very, very much Harry Styles. I always have, and I always will.”

That night, as they fell asleep, Harry was toying with the pendant in his fingers when he sighed wistfully and said, “Never had anyone give me jewelry before.”

Louis kissed the back of his head, circling his belly button with his thumb as he said, “One of these days, I’m gonna give you more.”

“That so?” Harry asked playfully.

“Of course baby,” Louis grinned, hugging Harry tighter to him - vowing never, ever to let go, “Gonna give you a ring one day.”

Harry squealed, rolling over so that he was laying on top of Louis, and peppered Louis’ face in dozens of kisses. Louis was giggling and squirming underneath Harry’s weight.

“Stop stop stop!” Louis cried, breathlessly. When Harry pulled back, Louis smirked and said, “Jesus, who knew you’d get this excited over a toe ring.”

Harry let out an indignant gasp before launching back on top of Louis and attacking his bare sides. They were both a mess of squeals and giggles and only finally quieted down after Liam banged on their bedroom door and threatened to beat both their asses if they didn’t chill. They both shut up quick at that, pressing against each other. Louis bent closer to Harry and gave him an eskimo kiss.

“When we get our own place soon, we can be as loud as we want,” Harry grinned.

“Well then,” Louis smirked, eyes twinkling with mirth, “we have to annoy Liam while we still have the chance, huh?” Harry didn’t have time to respond before Louis was straddling him and tickling him.

That night, Harry and Louis fell asleep in each other’s arms. Right before he drifted off to sleep, Louis thought maybe it was okay to believe in ghosts sometimes - ghosts called hope anyway.


End file.
